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Hopefully, this will be received in the positive way that I intend it to be received, but following our beloved besties Issa and Molly from HBO’s Insecure, (which was just nominated for its first Emmy! And 8 at that! Go Issa Rae!), it got me thinking about my friendships and what I’ve observed over the years.
Ladies, raise your hand if you consider yourself a good girlfriend to your friends.
Put your hand down!
We all fall short sometimes and I’ve noticed we (myself included) are guilty of placing our views of what we consider the “right” journey to be on for our friends. Although, I do believe that most friends have good intentions and ultimately want the best for the ladies closest to them, but I think we forget somewhere along the way to celebrate where our friends are in life and to support the path they have chosen to walk.
Society and social media has tricked us into believing that there is this perfect path to a happy, successful life. But the truth is success, happiness, and love looks very different for all us. Some friends will become successful without a degree, some friends will bear children before they’re married, and some friends may even deal with the wrong men before finding their King.
PSA: “Your expectation is not her journey!” Stop asking your girlfriends…when are you getting married? When are you going back to school? When are you having a kid or more kids? When are you going to start a business? These questions are not only condescending but more importantly, they remind your friend that they are not where you expect them to be, and to be frank, it can be portrayed as hate or that you think you are better than them.
Here are a few ways to make sure you are being a good girlfriend:
1) Check on your friends mental health – send that “you good?” text and be a good listener when she responds.
2) Celebrate her wins – your girl got a promotion or new job? Pop a bottle of wine with her or send her a e-gift card to her favorite place to celebrate.
3) Don’t speak negatively of her relationships – no matter how much you think ol’ boy is not good for your friend, unless she asks for your opinion don’t offer it. Because let’s be honest, we all had to dig our way out of some relationships we should’ve never been in.
4) Love them through their decisions – it’s ok to be a resource and to encourage your friends, but when sis has made a decision that she feels is best, support her! No matter what, support her.
5) Take interest in her work and projects – be the friend that reads your journalist friends’ blogs, be the friend that asks about that project at work she was working on.
On this day, National Girlfriends Day, celebrate your fellow woman friend. Speak life and positive affirmations into her life. Remind her that her journey is just that, HER JOURNEY and that you will always be there to ride the wave with her.
