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Daddy’s Girl is a title I carry proudly, but this wasn’t always the story.
Let me introduce myself before I go on. My name is Delisha E. and I’m a global speaker, bestselling author, educator, and also, a daddy’s girl.
Being the youngest daughter, this title along with “Princess,” is just a part of who I am and part of the confidence I have walked in from day one. However, when I entered my teen years and into adulthood, my relationship with my dad began to fade. This could be chalked up to “my rebellious teen years”, right? But in my young adult phase, we legitimately just didn’t seem to have anything in common, other than our love for God.
We had different views on everything from sports to theological views, and my mom was often in the middle as a buffer. Instead of talking things out and dealing with them head-on, we just ignored them and kept our relationship cordial.
However, after my parents’ divorce, my relationship with my dad was now in the spotlight. For the first time, we had to actually work at our relationship. Unfortunately, that’s not what we did, at first. For about three years we didn’t speak at all except via text twice a year and I didn’t visit. After having a heart-to-heart with my dad’s father, I reached out to my dad and said let’s talk. This was the beginning of a five-year process of developing a relationship. We also went to therapy to learn practical steps to mend our relationship.
We’re not perfect, but we are working daily to better our relationship and pray that this can serve as an encouragement to others who may have estranged relationships with their father or mother. Don’t be afraid to take the first step. The legacy begins with you.
In our new book, Letter from the Heart, we share our story and practical steps we took in order to confront real issues, such as anger, resentment, and fear. Even though my dad is a pastor and I’m a licensed minister, we still had problems. A title can’t fix what you won’t confront, but by the grace of God and therapy, we were able to forgive ourselves, love each other, and lead others on the same path.
There is a scripture that says, “with God all things are possible” and that means so much to me now. Because five years ago, you wouldn’t have been able to tell me that I’d be healed, forgive my father, and be working with him, but God!
What we found to be true is that a father in the home can be just as distant as a father that is physically absent. Sociologist Marcy Carlson stated, “The quantity of interaction doesn’t really benefit kids, but if you have more high-quality, engaged parenting that does seem to be positively related to outcomes for children.” Quality time over quantity time does make a difference. Learning each other’s love languages has helped us as well. We know what each other needs to feel loved. I want to encourage every parent reading this article to take the first step and forgive yourself, your parent, and work to rebuild the relationship if it is healthy to do so. Also, don’t be afraid of therapy, it helps!
